Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Randomize
