Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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