anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
