I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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