As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
