Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
