were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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