hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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