Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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