So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
