got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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