They should really pass out barf bags in church
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
