There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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