she looked like the before picture.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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