i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
