Dual....:-)
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
