her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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