I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
