i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize