I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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