Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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