Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
