NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
