and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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