is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize