And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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