Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
