it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
