when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
