you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
