i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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