Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We have so much sex to catch up on
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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