I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
