Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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