Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
