he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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