I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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