Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
