genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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