I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
