So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
