I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
