addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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