I'm jealous of your bromance
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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