we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Damn victory sex feels great
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
