Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
