Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
