Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
