drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize