I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
