i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
