He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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