I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
