I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
