ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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