Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
zippers are such a cool invention
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
