Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
