Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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